An UNreal Customer Testimonial

At Custom Shutters we have seen a lot in our almost-40 years of handcrafting the finest plantation shutters available. This one is a new one. It is from a customer in the panhandle of Wyoming who claims that Custom Shutters protected him from an alien abduction. He writes;

Dear Custom ShuttersCustom plantation shutters handcrafted in Texas!

I would just like to tell you about my attempted alien abduction and how my Custom Shutters saved my life.

It was a Tuesday night and all of the lights were off. I was in the closet listening to my shortwave radio and patching my tinfoil hat. In the past week I had been receiving signals through my electric toothbrush about an impending visitation from a representative of the outer galaxy. I had tried to contact the Mayor to warn him but the restraining order was still in effect and his assistant would not let me in to see him. Anyway, after I had repaired my tinfoil hat I exited the closet, being careful to let my cat sniff the air first. (A very important step because cats can smell aliens). He acted as if there was a threat and immediately ran under the couch.


Lights flashed on the wall through my custom blinds and I readied myself for what would come next. The lights were pulsating and I took this to be a large tractor beam of some sort, ready to lift me aboard the alien craft. It is my determination that your shutters saved me from abduction due to their superior construction and the inability of the tractor beam to sufficiently get through. I want to thank you and please accept this tinfoil hat of my own design.

 

I Love You,

Gary

 

Well, Gary, we love you too and appreciate the tinfoil hat. We are always eager to hear from a satisfied customer.